what day is it? where am i? what am i doing? what time is it? are we there
yet? did we win? who am i? how did the show go? what year is it? what is my
name? who are you? what country is this? why are you here? hi.

I am firmly in the "what the fucking fuck was I fucking thinking" period of
the month. I'd like to go home tomorrow, please. Or do another show. Oh
right. I'll be doign another show.

A little over a month before the festival, Jon, our producer, emailed me
asking if a guy could sleep on our couch in Scotland for a few days. I wrote
back saying "Sure, if it's okay with everyone else..." and promptly forgot
about it.

So this morning, well... about 1pm, I slept in because I'm in the middle of
some sort of really, really, really intense depression, Kirsty called to
tell me that "my friend" is coming in tonight and to make sure that I'm at
the flat to let him in.

What?

This is what we call a cock-up. No one else had heard about this and Victor
and Danny have their girlfriends here so another person would bring the
total to 7 people in the flat. Apparently no one else was aksed or told
about it and it was presented as my responsibility and that the guy is my
friend. Um. No.

Long story short: it's all taken care of and the guy is staying somewhere
else. Man. The idea of that really sucked the balls off the rhino.

Last night I saw Eddie Naessan's "Little Terror". Stand-up by an Irish actor
who gets a tiny lump behind his ear and now has half his face pretty much
paralyzed. Hey, you stupid hippes: Socialized medicine sucks. It is
horrifying. Fucking horrifying. Useless. Fine for checkups. But if you have
something seriously wrong with you, you're fucked. He didn't go under the
knife for something like 3 years. "could be anything... it seems okay...
come back in 6 months..." motherfuckers.

He has a great section about "spiritual" people. Paraphrasing here... they
still believe all the bullshit but they're too lazy to get up sunday
mornings to go to church.

The guy has a wonderful style and is so inexplicably nice about it all... I
got teary during a bit of it. It would be good if more people saw it. I feel
so proud of many things about America. Sorry. I just do.

We are not getting as many people in to the show as we would like and it's a
bit daunting. It's hovering around 50-60, which is fine, but it's not so
great for the size of that room. Plus, the beginning is always weird. It
feels like have to drag them in a basket to get them with us. Dunno.
Annoying. Need to be having fun and it's not fun until the middle of the
show. Weird.

After the big shoe today I went to the Assembly rooms and bought tickets for
tomorrow for Steven Berkoff's show about Shakespeare's villains. I think it
might be a bit sucky and pretentious, but then again, what the fuck? But,
he's got that cool thing on his forehead.

I'm also going to see a show called Misplaced Childhood. I'm looking forward
to this. It's a show by a guy named Will Smith (no) about the influence of
the album Misplaced Childhood by Marillion. Saw the write-up and posters and
was very excited. Turns out there is talk that this is the big Perrier show
this year.

It's a British comedian named Will Smith doing a show about a prog-rock
concept album released in 1985 by a band no one's ever really heard of.
Let's see you try to cross the Atlantic with this one, sir...

Today, I saw Jerry Sadowitz' close-up magic show at the Assembly Rooms. I
sat next to a big fat british guy with halitosis. That was lovely.
Fortunatly Jerry Sadowitz rules. He's Jamy Ian Swiss on crystal meth. He
gets in your face with totally racist jokes and insults everyone and anyone
and then kills, kills, kills with his magic. Deceptively basic stuff,
cups/balls, cards, etc. but motherfuck... the guy is lethal.

Heard some people in line talking about going to Las Vegas and seeing Penn y
Teller and that was cool.

Now I'm at Beanscene enjoying the warm evening air and wondering if we'll
ever finish.

To avoid the poor kids flyering, I always have my iPod on. I have an
extraordinary amount of genesis on it. I didn't realize I had that much
Genesis. Hmmm. It's sort of lovely walking around this part of the world
listening to old Genesis.

Plus, I keep it on shuffle, so I'll go from Supper's Ready to a nerf herder
song. (I also have an extraordinary amount of nerf herder)

Having a lovely time. Wish you were here... instead of me.

¶ 2:39 PM