heckle club the first rule of heckle club: don't talk about heckle club

last night, provenz' show was interrupted by a bunch of really
annoying fucking drunks. they had destroyed the show anyway, which
wasn't much of a show. bunch of really rotten stand ups.

but

these cunts were drunk and horrible. provenz', in all his genius, got
one of the ringleaders, someone we came to know as "j-19" up on stage.
in less than 2 minutes, j-19 had all his clothes off and was licking
provenz' naked ass.

the horrible woman got up on stage and did an annoying strip, but
wouldn't show her stupid tits.

provenz' aksed them to now sit down and play nice. they didn't.

provenz' found out they were in a show and got fliers for the show. he
told them if they didn't shut the fuck up, we were going to come to
their show and fuck it up. the fuckers kept fucking around.

there was a film crew shooting all of this.

the show is a series of sketches by med students. that's all we knew.

so, today at around 5:30pm, we all gathered at the venue. the main
hecklers were me, provenz' and a guy named alex. there were audience
members from last night's show there becasue they wanted to see the
"final act" of last night's show. accompanying provenz' were a couple,
the man owns a comedy club in liverpool. there were two other comics
who came along for the ride.

i sat in the front. everyone else was dispersed throughout the rest of
the theater, which is basically a conference room in the radisson
hotel in edinburgh.

there were some flats up which created a sort of backstage. i walked
back and said "hi, we're here... have a great show!" there were
"innocents" who looked a bit shaken.

i went back to my front row seat.

as the lights faded, i began coughing uncontrollably. loudly
apologizing for coughing so loudly. alex said "there are doctors here,
perhaps they can fix his cough". then, as the first sketch began, cell
phones began ringing. oh my. oh my. i walked across the front of the
audience, loudly apologizing for moving seats. "i really want to see
this... sorry!"

cell phones. i yelled "turn off your cell phones, that's so rude! shut up!"

there was some sketch about a daughter telling her mother about daddy
getting a blowjob by a nurse. the girl playing the little girl had
huge tits. provenz' began saying "tell it slow" i chimed in.
"slower... slower.. please... oh my god, this is nice!"

real mature. yes. i know.

the guy who owned the club began heckling, too. (afterwards, he talked
about how liberating it is to heckle)

the parents of the people in the show weren't sure what to think.

some people in the show would look at us. i would turn around to
provenz' and say "it freaks me out when they break the fourth wall"

provenz' would explain the sketches. one of them featured a man dying
and the nurse and the wife talking about dinner the night before.
heckle club members were screaming "suck his cock" and "help him, he's
dying!!" "can't you see he's dying!!"

finally, j-19 came on. the place erupted in applause. "J-19!!!!"

the interesting part was that the rest of the cast, "the innocents",
were doing what they could... they were dealing with it. j-19 and the
horrible woman were immediately pissed.

she said "shut up!" then the lights went out and i said "you shut up!"
in my most petulant kid voice.

each time j-19 came on stage, we all applauded. loudly. for a long time.

this went on for 40 minutes.

40.

forty minutes.

finally.. finally...

someone came out and made an annoucement to the audience who, for the
most part, were having a fine time. some, of course, were NOT.
provenz' explained the situation. and we left. several audience
members came with us. they enjoyed it immensely. i gave them fliers to
my show.

the people who were in the audience for last night's show loved it and
had a great time.

there was a lot more that happened. it was fucking beautiful. it was
comedy terrorism.

you are not playing with children.
  ¶ 11:54 AM